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A Facebook “Friend”: What Does That Mean?

Let me share with you something that happened to me that helps illustrate the way in which “connectedness” in social networking can lie in the eye of the beholder. About ten years ago, I was working at the same place as “Diane,” and she became a short-term friendly acquaintance. Since that project ended, I hadn’t seen or talked to her for all of those years, though through community connections her name would be mentioned from time to time. And she was a “friend” of dozens of my friends on Facebook. So about a year ago, when I received a Facebook Read More →

Twitter changes the question. Have you changed your answer?

The Twitter blog explains their thinking behind changing the foundational question from “What are you doing?” to “What’s happening?” The fundamentally open model of Twitter created a new kind of information network and it has long outgrown the concept of personal status updates. Twitter helps you share and discover what’s happening now among all the things, people, and events you care about. “What are you doing?” isn’t the right question anymore—starting today, we’ve shortened it by two characters. Twitter now asks, “What’s happening?” If you’re a tweeter, have you used Twitter solely to express your personal status throughout the day, Read More →

Couples, online interactions and boundaries

What does it mean if a couple decides that online interactions must be mutual—specifically, by rejecting individual email or Twitter/Facebook accounts in favor of a joint account? “It’s not a matter of distrust,” said Ronda Hodge, 53, of Amesbury, Mass., an ice-cream maker who shares an e-mail address with her husband Tom, 60, a landscaper. “We really don’t have anything to hide from one another. We were friends first before we even dated so we’ve got that level of openness there.” The article cites two very different scenarios in which a couple might decide to share an account: The couple uses Read More →

Early social networking anxiety

I remember how it started. Emails began showing up: “Alfred E. Neuman would like to invite you to join Facebook! Just click here to begin.” A couple, then a handful, then dozens. Clearly, there was a wave rolling in; did I want to catch it? Initially, the answer was, “Not really.” That is, until I was informed of a Facebook group forming around therapists who’d worked at the same clinic. It seemed like a good professional connection, so I signed up. That was on what I came to call Facebook Day. It deserves its own title, because I was unprepared Read More →

PAUL SILVERMAN, MFT LPCC

Managing relationships and emotions in the 21st century can be bewildering. Visit my blog for my thoughts about mental health, relationships — online and face-to-face — and coping with everyday stressors.

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Paul Silverman | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, CA MFC49915 | Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, CA LPCC962 | California Board of Behavioral Sciences